blessings

to the girl in the park who said she liked my glasses

i hope that your fruit is always perfectly ripe, and that you never skin your knees

to the man who held the door open for me yesterday

i hope your favorite songs on the radio finish just as you’re pulling into your driveway, and you never misplace your keys

to the cashier that called me honey and smiled wide

i hope your favorite tv shows are never cancelled prematurely, and your feet never fall asleep

to the universe, in total

i hope you soon find peace

a kind of nervous

being on the cusp of life is like

standing in line for the diving board

the kind of nervous that comes when

you don’t know what to fear exactly

because when you try to imagine what’s next

there’s an emptiness

the space below the surface that you can’t quite picture

a daily routine that you can’t yet know

and being ready to jump

but having to wait

your turn

without you

i stood tiptoe and reached high

put you on a pedestal and left you there

proceeded to spend years

trying to be enough, to join you

but indifference cannot be pleased

you didn’t so much fall off as

crumble away

and when i noticed

i climbed up to assess the damage

and found i liked the view 

this is how sunsets make me feel

1. like i’ve swallowed a sweet hot tea, and my tongue is still tingling
2. like i need to tell the sun, personally, how good a job she’s doing
3. like if i just keep going i’ll find a place that’s soft
4. like i’m small, but safe
5. like the day couldn’t be that bad, to have such an exit
6. like the darkness must be starstruck, to have such an opening act

this is about blood

is it okay to hate your body if it’s only once a month?

is it okay if your body feels like it’s hating you back?

twisting in on itself 

from your core 

making you sweaty, and slow, 

and sore

this, feels like The Flood

maybe it is, a cycle that

keeps humanity going

eventually

but not this time

this, is about blood

and survival

i’ve touched your heart

and i will not harm you

you will be fine

is it okay to love your body now, even now, after all this time?

because even the pain feels like proof, 

and power, 

and life