16

i know you like your eggs sunny side up

and driving with the windows down

and turning the bass up high

and feeding stray cats

i know you hold on to what you love tightly

wearing holes in your favorite socks

and giving out second chances

i know the way your shoulders tense in traffic

and the way they relax against your pillow

i know you, your scent, your dreams, your fears

your eyes, your nose, your ears 

we’re in sync; 

we reach out arms to steady each other when one of us wobbles, 

or sometimes, fall down together, laugh at our own tears, get up again, keep going

back and better and better then ever and it’s always true and truer

a season of words, both heavy and hollow

I

Everything is supposed to be golden but I think I’ve turned to lead

Heavy, drowning, in a mess of sheets and sighs

I remember the light and

Turn it off instead

II

I always start to feel like I’ve overstayed my welcome

Someone screaming - get me out of here- out of now

“Next!” calls the lady at the desk

III

Swallow some honey for that cough but it doesn’t taste sweet

Deadlines start to make my throat dry

It’s dangerous to think of a person as a forever

They’ll start appearing while you sleep

IV

Free to float or swim under bright lights

I dream I am in a petri dish

 Under observation

They can read my movements but not my mind

V

Shells and balloons are both filled with air

But we only call one hollow

VI

And the song goes He holds the whole world, in his hands

My hands lack such responsibility

They grasp at empty air

VII

Gravity promises all will fall

Makes no claims about falling into place

VIII

You’re never finished

Just out of time

Love Bug

I don't know how I ever looked at you and felt anything but butterflies 

because now they are a permanent part of my guts they teach my heart how to flutter and my soul how to fly. 

and I

close my eyes and see you in dreams

wake up content with my reality 

and I 

catch feelings like something contagious during cold season 

but you make me feel warm and fuzzy inside

and I'm

sneezing spreading these feelings into the public eye 

and when they say bless you

I know I'm already blessed with you

so I

take candid pictures of you 

and write poems I don't know how to end 

trying to bottle up this feeling

of a love-bug-boy-friend

lucky

I spent a decade of my life looking through patches of clover

If I had ever found an extra leaf the hunt would be over

I'm not sure what I thought would happen to me

But it seemed it could never hurt to be a little more lucky

Though a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow would have been better

Maybe all I ever wanted was a change in the weather

A four leaf clover is an abnormality that I never did see

But all the same life has been astoundingly good to me 

 

the lesson of the lillypad

said the tadpole to his favorite pond

"i will never know a love like you"

said the frog upon his lilly pad

"what you say is true"

"you will never love,

like you did before"

"but you will love your lillypad

in ways different, new, and more"

not the poem i want to write tonight

i want to write poetry that opens blind eyes to empathy and tells a story but time isn't on my side and so i just leave you with one pathetic run on line and the promise of maybe tomorrow

this is monday morning

stumble out of bed into hot shower and check your texts
hands on the steering wheel and green lights and next

you're early enough to get a good spot
wet hair in the parking lot

blink repeatedly and drink water to stay awake
cold war and air pollution and passé composé 

bad posture and little enthusiasm 
the cafeteria is too loud for conversation  
in passing periods check your phone 
count down minutes until you go home