Want

I want to walk on far off sandy beaches

And it just gets kind of tough

When I'm told to play in the sandbox

And that's supposed to be enough

I want to soak in the masterpeices

And it just gets kind of hard

When internet images

Are as close as I get to art

 

I want to be satisfied with what I have

But slowly I'm learning

The youthful position

Is one of yearning

Survivors

They wear battle scars

And they don't know how beautiful they are

And society doesn't understand

That it's a fight

With monsters in the mirror

And monsters inside

When your fighting yourself

There's no where to hide

So they wear battle scars

They don't know how beautiful they are

They find relief

In red lines

And I wish it didn't have to hurt

But I'm so glad they are alive

Living and fighting another day

So strong with their battle scars

And I wish each and every one

Would know how beautiful they are

I wish for a world where so many lovely people I know we'rent effected by inner monsters. If you are struggling with self harm, help is out there. http://www.selfinjury.com/ I pray better days are to come for all of you 

That negative voice inside of your head is not on your side

Shooting down your own dreams
Snuffing out your own light
You become gravedigger
And corpse alike

Escape

My eyes are starved for beauty
In a world so digital

My heart forgets to beat
So hungry for adventure

My soul aches for flavor
My tounge craves something new

I listen to excellent music
The least that I can do

Summer

Free from the answers that got stuck on the tongue
Free from the drama and words that stung
Free from the workload
Free to have fun
Free of expectations
Free to be young

Skinny.

Bile burns the throat
Before the throne they kneel
Meal re-served in a porcelain bowl
They can't wretch up what they feel
And all they feel is empty
Lying on the tiled ground
They swallowed societies lies
They can't keep their own food down

"Friend" Request

I've never spoken to you
But we're friends anyway
I'd comment on your photo
If I had anything to say
I thought we could start to talk
But the fact is
You're not likeley to like me better
If I "like" your status
So we remain where we are
And where we'll always be
But don't you know we're friends?
Online for everyone to see

Media Machine

It's just a line
Let's call it art!
Play classical music in the womb!
Make the baby smart!
When they feel so inadaquate
Let's blame it on their peers
We'll sell them icecream
And something to dry the tears

Ever after

Trying to write poetry with happy
endings
Is trying to sprint while you are
swimming
No matter how happy the days
How joyful and free
Verses come from that brooding part
Where it's hard to see

Summer Snowflakes

Trickle of sweat
Down the nape of the neck
Bite bottom lip
Are we there yet?
How should I know! I don't know where we're going!
There's no blizzards in sight
But in her mind it's
snowing

Mind Games

Staying true to myself starts to feel like a
game
Trying to get the picture
But the truth's not in
frame
I've seen so many images
Don't know if my thoughts are my own
Screaming stay out of my head and leave me
alone

A Lump in The Throat

Rejection burned
A familiar ache
No matter how often she swallowed it
She never grew used to the taste

Wooed

Wrote this for English class, try and spot the vocabulary words :)


She'd counted on his good looks

She'd counted on his wits

But she'd never counted

On his countenance

Hadn't known his gentle smile

Would break down her every defense

Didn't realize even sensible girls

Fall for things that don't make sense

                                                             

With a profusion of charm

He offered her a rose

So fun and free of regular life

He seemed to offer repose

Six days after meeting

She was full of ardent "love"

Too enamored with his being

To notice his edges were rough

She started growing wistful

Around the time he started drinking

She pulled out a suitcase

But knew it was wishful thinking

All her friends had warned her

But she'd called them cynical

Her youth had slipped away

Her goals forgotten, unfulfilled

He was a different species

He was a great foray

They've been married 20 years now

Maybe she'll leave

Today

Heartburn

They told her not to touch the stove
They told her it was hot
They told her to keep her fingers back
They could easily get caught
They told her he seemed nice
For once, she was not warned
She never touched the stove
But she still got burned

Conclusion

The sweet taste of success drowns out all the rest! It is with great pride, tinged with relief, that I conclude my National Poetry Month Project of posting a poem a day. I am so thankful for everyone who checked in and read my work. It was that accountability that kept me going, even when I really really would have rather gone to sleep. If it wasn't for the fact that my blog was getting more views then it has gotten EVER I might have given in to the burned out feeling I got halfway through. In this month I have written almost as much poetry as I have in the entire rest of my life thus far. This is a really awesome personal accomplishment. By no means am I stopping here, but the flow of material will slow down considerably, hopefully to about once a week. This has been such a great experience! Thank you again readers one and all, for encouraging me to get something in the ink, even when I lacked inspiration!
More to Follow,
Inkwriter

Bittersweet Memories/ Summer Vocabularies

Sea salt

Pearl

Thick silence

Dusk

Wildflower solitude

Scarlet stardust

Tender Confetti

Part with your spare change

Mermaids arise

Tart lemonade

Suppressed smiles

Morning dew

Stolen moments

Inhaling

You

Middle School in a Box

Humiliated Sweat

Mixed with crocodile tears

Layers of regrets

Form a fog that never clears

The “Fake” that is the fashion

The judgment via peers

Pandora’s Box condensed

In to three confusing years

Sore Arms

Writer’s block isn’t so much a block

Or a traffic jam

Or word you can’t remember

It’s more of a rag, long dry

That you wring between your hands over

And over again

(Until your arms hurt)

Without one drop to show for it

You happen to be very thirsty

But all you have is sore arms

And memories

Of when that rag was dripping wet

It isn’t so much a block

As an excuse to throw your pen across the room

And go eat something fattening

Only the Good...

The feeling begins as a small ache in the heart

And then sinks to sit, not uncomfortably, inside the stomach

It isn’t expected,

But not exactly unexpected either

Like a friend come to visit,

Who didn’t call ahead

But who you kind of figured was coming

It is a weight, and an ache

But not quite a pain

It’s being grown up in a way

The reason adults don’t smile quite as carefree as you did

On the playground

It doesn’t hurt, it’s just heavy

It’s sad

Not the sad where you almost cry

The sad where you know it deserves tears

But you also know it’s not worth it

The feeling comes when you realize

The world is unfair

Not a selfish realization

Not that you won’t always get what you want

Not that some people have more of what you want

It’s when you realize

The world isn’t cruel to those who deserve it

It hurts those who don’t

Don’t

Don’t deserve pain

It’s a shame that settles

In the stomach

And sits like an old friend

Who didn’t call ahead

As She Posts A Poem

Her foot's falling asleep
The prickling sensation increasing
Staring at the TV
Trying to catch the dead body breathing
Cracking her knuckles
Stifling a yawn
Sipping the diet coke
She's grown dependent on

Nursery Rhyme

Mother goose laid a golden egg

Which Jack and Jill went chasing after

The mouse running up the clock

Spotted a Bitsy Spider in the rafters

Little Miss Muffet never was good at making friends

The Dish and Spoon were the talk of the town

Humpty Dumpty was trying to tell Bo Peep's lamb

The sky was falling down

Dear Men,

No need to open the door
Or pull out a chair
I don't need fancy dresses
Or fine chandeliers
I'm an independent women!
But, a word of advice-
I may not need those things
But, they sure would be nice

Dreaming

Monkey do what monkey see
Spectacular slivers of insanity
Falling, and flying and feeling free
Meeting a mad-hatter
I'm told I'm late for tea
I rest when I sleep
But not when I dream

Under the Cover of Christ

Her fuzzy blanket offered brief security
Against bed-time monsters who faded into obscurity
Monsters were replaced with overwhelming humanity
She found a lasting blanket, it was called Christianity

When she was little she kept the monsters at bay
But even under the covers, they never really went away
The protection was temporary, unlike the saving the grace
Not just protected, through her Messiah she was saved

Now I Know (a haiku)

"You don't want to know"
I didn't beleive you but
I think you were right

Another Day

A butterfly kisses a flower

A man meets with a priest

Children delight in a see saw

Many consult a slot machine

The daughter observes the house

Looks at the paper, checks the address

The man walking his dog minds his business

The sun sets in the west

Doggy Paddling

I'm in a choppy ocean
Almost sinking
My heart's to heavy for buoyancy
My mind's weighed down by "thinking"
I fight to stay afloat
Practice strokes I do not know
I don't know who will be waiting
I don't know if there's a shore

I Sure Hope So

"If you keep making that face it will get stuck like that forever"
I sure hope so because if it doesn't, there's no point whatsoever
In this enthusiastic smile
In this confident grin
In this fake-it-till-I-make-it
In this mask that hides what's within
If I act like I know what I'm doing
If I put on a good show
Maybe one day It won't be acting
And I might really know
Maybe one day things will be different
Maybe I'll get a change of luck
Maybe one day I'll have done it long enough
And my smile will get stuck

Waiting for June

Dancing with bare feet

The utter bliss of breeze

Melting in the heat

Feeling utterly at ease

The buzz of mosquitoes

Like a bittersweet lullaby

Soaking in the cold of the fridge

With a relieved sigh

Nights interchangeable

With endless days

Oh summer, sweet, summer

Mere months away

Learning to Sail

Searching for the exact moment night turns to day

While trying to find the right words to say

Memories woven in to moments

And walking on eggshells

Timing life to the

Chiming of

Church

Bells

Being

Careful

Then throwing

Caution to the wind

Learning to sail like you

Are learning to live, remembering

Not to believe all that you hear, and

Finding your train of thought forms a hemisphere

 

Holding my breath

I can’t keep holding my breath
On this winding trail
To make it out alive
I slowly exhale

I can’t just keep falling
Through this infinite route
To land safely
I deploy my parachute

I can’t keep living life
Afraid of what’s below
To grasp on to new joys
I learn to
Let go

Science Class

I’m yet to learn the secrets of life

Sitting in a science lab

Rarely do I find significance

In the habitat of a fiddler crab

For though I can count protons

And calculate mass

I can’t change the course of life

With these modest facts

Though Newton’s laws may one day

Be  of my concern

At the moment there are other things

It would rather learn

Give me balance to measure the weight of words

Give me “adaptations” that give voice to the unheard

Give me a lens that shows truth that’s been blurred

And show me how evolution left the unkind souls preferred

Science examines the “how” of life

But conveniently ignores the “why”

Which is why I don’t reach enlightenment

With safety goggles on my eyes

Good luck from a Broken Mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall

Why do you tell such lies?

Reflecting your distorted surface

A million girls analyze

Every freckle on their eyelids

Every single little pore

And despite a lovely image

They can only want more

And because they are left

Dissatisfied

They cover up with products

Constantly re-applied

You, mirror, are unwise,

Undimensional, so flat

A person's full of substance

Containing so much more then that

What is portrayed on glass that's as fragile as emotions

Is a shallow deception, planting negtive notions

For a beautiful smile

Can also be cruel

And behind buck-teeth

Can be a personality jewel

So Mirror Mirror on the wall

Let us reveal what you hide

The day has come for your great fall

So we can reflect what is inside

I wait below so just let go

You never noticed the rocks below 

Until you began to slip

Now with fear of rock bottom

You clutch to your emotions 

With an iron grip

But your fingers must be cramping

You must be worn out from the strain

You must be shivering from the elements

You must be crying in the rain

I shout up a message

Sure it will reach your ears

Sound has a way of traveling

When it's the truth you need to hear

And so I remind you

You don't have to hold in 

It all

I know you fear 

Letting go

But I'll catch you when you 

Fall

The Pessimist's Point (is like a broken pencil)

"What's the point of a sandcastle

 That the waves wash away?

 What's the point of art class?

 (You'll never create a Monet)

 What's the point of night

 When tomorrow's a new day?"

Whats the point of life

If you're to live this way?

Poet

I am a different species
I communicate in verse
Viewing the world
So differently
My blessing and
My curse

I am a magician
With ink on my hands
Exploiting pain
Creating Beauty
Spinning Gold
From shifting sand

I am just another dreamer
With words too pretty to believe
Expressing joy
Beauty
And Pain
Teaching myself to grieve

I am an insignificant dew drop
In the expanse of time
With a desperate hope
That words will linger
On beyond
My life

As My Musings Multiply

How can I feel
What I cannot touch
If I can't miss what I never had
Why do I crave so much?
If seeing is believing
What is our faith in dawn?
I won't doubt religion based on science
(Science can't explain a yawn)
Some say I think to much
they think it unwise
Still I ponder life
As it's mysteries multiply

Happy Holidays

Religion and Consumerism
Fight for the same space
Drawing parallels
To share a holiday

The wisemen gave the baby gifts
So Santa gives to you
The candy filled plastic egg
Opens like The Savior's tomb

The Year-Round spenders
Twice-a-year church attenders
Are torn between the two
Does the money or the meaning
Mean the most to you?

Opened Eyes

A thousand flavors never tasted
A hundred beats I've never heard
So many days that I have wasted
Not exploring this fine world
How many moments have I wondered-
What is out there for me?
Perhaps it's time I stop dreaming,
Open my eyes,
And see

The Whisper

The whisper like the thread
That held our lives together
The thread like the promise
That you'd be here forever
The promise like the poem
That spoke of shining light
The poem like the tears
That she shed that night
The tears like the whisper
That made it all alright

Thursday Morning

I'm starting to think I like my face better wet
Crying over some dead celebrity I never met
And forgetting
And rememberring
My priorities
And wondering when exactly I started liking coffee
And asking
Does it matter?
And remembering a dream
Of what we all want
Of mattering
And starting to think
And starting to say
Its to early to think
But I think I
Will anyway

... Right in My Own Way

Some things are immeasurable
Meant to be undefined
Some things we pretend we've figured out
Like power, love, and time
Sometimes we make up rules
Like "poems have to rhyme"
But maybe the rebels
Who think "conforming" is a crime
Are in there own way right
So just maybe I'm...

Small Talk

We wear out small talk

(All we have left)

The air is heavy

With elephant's breath

Cold, crisp, and painstakingly polite

When did we become so business-like?

My heart bursts with memories

And "used to be's" 

But deep down inside

I'm relieved to be free

Glad we gave up

On the little game

Where we ignore the past

Like everything's the same

Because 

Its not

Things are changed forever

So we stay in this place

Discussing the weather

It

It's the name resting forever
On the tip of your tongue
It's the time you struck out
Because you never swung

It's looking for the brightside
On the darkside of the moon
It's the tingling aftertaste
That evaporates to soon

It's the one you let get away
And the time you held on to long
It's all those words you meant to say
And the times that you were wrong

It's the reason for joy
It's the reason for strife
It's the undefinable "if"
In this thing we call "life"

And We Wanted to Grow Up

It's hot outside
An inside joke
And frosty by
A cold shoulder
Drama reigns
And kindness chokes
As young hearts
Grow older

As we all crash
On leaden wings
We learn to seek new highs
Love hurts
Betrayal Stings
And we are spoon fed lies

Boys are clueless
And girls are cruel
All struggling for the concept
Of an undefined "cool"

So failure greets the best of us
Not for lack of trying
On the golden clouds we reached for
I fight for a silver lining

National Poetry Month

This Month is National Poetry Month! It's great to have a month to celebrate the amazing concept of poetry that is special to so many. For more information and ways to celebrate you can check out http://www.poets.org/page.php/prmID/94. As a personal way to celebrate, and as a extreme challenge to myself, I am going to attempt to post one poem of my own each day. I hope you all have a great month, and I urge you to not only check back here every day, but immerse yourself in the poetry of other poets as well. Perhaps you will even take up the pen yourself. I wish you all luck!
Miles of Smiles,
Inkwriter

Deceased Feelings

The seed of an idea
It took its time to grow
Began to expand
Manifested oh so slow
But when the silver sissors
Snipped the stem
it took but a bare insant
After all that work
And spent time
It put up no resistance

It was in prime condition
No wear
And no rust
But in nothing more then a moment
It crumbled into dust

A city built in a century
Is crushed with just one bomb
A life takes a while living
But the ending's hardly long

Forever I have known this
And yet I was suprised
What thought of as endless
Did not take much time

I didn't see the headlights coming
Nothing flashed before my eyes
There was no moment of enlightenment
I couldn't pick the truth from lies

Just a moment
Then the next
No fireworks between
There was no gathering crowd
There was nothing to be seen

Things die every day
It couldn't be considered news
Yet somehow I expected immortality
Of my opinion
Of you

Wishes

I wish there was a mirror

In which you could see

How incredible you are

And how much you mean to me

I wish there was a tune

I could whistle all day long

To convince you all those hateful words

Couldn't be more wrong

I wish there was a crayon

Wedged between green and blue

That could complete your picture

 And show you from my view

It’s my wish on every eyelash

Every candle

Every star

That every waking moment

You'll know how wonderful you are

The Secret Keeper

It was with such pride

That they called her smart

But thought the knowledge blew her mind

The secrets broke her heart

A spider web of trust

And words only for her ears

Every shield that she put up

Was in her side, a spear

She braced the burden on her shoulders

But inside she was afraid

That through the pain of others

She too, would at last

          Break